‘I packed a bag, called my sister, and left’: New mom leaves husband after giving birth because he failed to support her, and instead, claimed she was overreacting about her exhaustion

Author image for Lana DeGaetano
Lana DeGaetano • "Show me to me please."
Jul 19, 2025 8:00 PM EDT

Many men look at pregnancy like it's a walk in the park. Sure, it takes two to tango to get pregnant in the first place. That doesn't mean that they're the ones carrying the little one for nine months, craving who knows what, and dealing with back pain, nausea, among other common pregnancy side effects. Women are inherently strong and biologically made up of anatomical mechanisms to help them deal with pregnancy, but it's not an easy road. Then, when everything comes to a head, they can be in labor from two minutes to two days, waiting to give birth to their special baby and hold them in their arms.

Supporting your pregnant partner could prove difficult as well, but it's definitely in a different way. Giving all of your support to them might cause you to forget about supporting yourself, which leads to intense periods of burnout. So, it's important to find a balance. What that does not mean is telling your wife post-labor that you are more tired than her. In my humble opinion, that seems a bit tone deaf.

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  • Surely, that can't be an out-of-the-blue comment. This is just the nail in the coffin. The woman in this next story leaves her husband after he comments that he had a harder time than she did while she was in labor, explaining that he was more tired and had a subpar amount of sleep.

    Excuse me? Did he give birth? Didn't think so.

     

  • "I don't feel bad, I feel free."
    via Wesley Tingey For Unsplash+

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • "AITA for leaving my husband just days after giving birth because he made the entire labor and delivery about himself and treated me like a burden instead of his wife?"

    I gave birth to our first child a week ago. I thought it was going to be a hard but beautiful moment for us. instead, it just made it crystal clear how selfish and emotionally unavailable my husband really is.
    via Spirited-District-31
  • The contractions were brutal, and I was in active labor for almost 15 hours. he sat there complaining about how uncomfortable the hospital chair was. he literally
    via Spirited-District-31
  • said, I'm more tired than you are, at least you're lying down. I stared at him in disbelief, mid- contraction, and he had the
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  • audacity to act annoyed. then I cried from the pain, he rolled his eyes. when the nurse asked him if he wanted to help hold my leg,
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  • he refused because he was grossed out. the man who watched me carry a child for 9 months suddenly found me disgusting in my most vulnerable moment.
    via Spirited-District-31
  • after the delivery, I was exhausted and emotional. I reached for his hand, and he pulled away because he was overstimulated. he told me I was
    via Spirited-District-31
  • too much and that I needed to calm down. two days later, I asked for help with our newborn and he snapped, saying I was
    via Spirited-District-31
  • being needy and that he deserves rest too. that's when something inside me just broke. I packed a bag, called my sister, and left.
    via Spirited-District-31
  • Cheezburger Image 10530881280
    via Curated Lifestyle For Unsplash+

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • now my phone's blowing up. his family is saying I blindsided him, that I'm hormonal, that I should give it time. but I've had time.
    via Spirited-District-31
  • years of it. and I ignored so many red flags. this just tore off the last layer of denial.
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  • I don't feel bad. I feel free. but I still wonder, did I act too fast?
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  • PianoActive3374 You didn't act too fast, you acted finally. that man showed you exactly who he is when you were at your most vulnerable, and it wasn't a one-off. NTA
    via PianoActive3374
  • Spirited-District-31 Thank you. that's exactly how it felt like I finally stopped making excuses for him. I kept hoping things would change, but the way he acted when I needed him the most just made everything so clear. it wasn't new behavior, just the last straw.
    via Spirited-District-31
  • TruthfullyFirm I'm really glad you saw it clearly. The last straw doesn't make you weak it means you're finally done carrying what was never yours to hold.
    via TruthfullyFirm
  • FitEquipment5897 I'm proud of you! ❤
    via FitEquipment5897
  • Spirited-District-31 that seriously means a lot. it's been a rough ride but i'm finally starting to feel like myself again. trying to take things one day at a time.
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  • Sad-Country-9873 NTA - but you need to rip mom and dad a new one for raising him that way.
    via Sad-Country-9873
  • Spirited-District-31 I'm seriously considering cutting contact with them too after everything that went down.
    via Spirited-District-31
  • Amazing-Wave 4704 My guess is he wouldn't fight you for custody, just for child support. Get both.
    via Amazing-Wave4704
  • Confident-Listen3515 Don't look back. I'm so glad you left!
    via Confident-Listen351
  • Spirited-District-31 Thanks, I really needed to hear that. I keep second- guessing myself, but every time I replay how he acted... ugh. It helps hearing from people who get it. I didn't want to walk away from my marriage, but I wasn't gonna stay where I felt completely alone.
    via Spirited-District-31

Tags

relationship advice marriage baby drama married with children relationship-drama reddit story married life relationships aio husband advice divorce relationship feud birth reddit thread Reddit dating entitled people
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